Tuesday 5 August, Billericay – FA Walking Football Cup, South East England Regional Qualifiers.

On a sun-kissed morning in Essex, Leyton Orient’s over 60s arrived with the wind of recent form in their sails and dreams of regional glory flickering in their boots. A five-team round robin stood between them and the South East Regional Finals – fifteen-minute matches, FA rules, tackling from the front. The path was narrow but not impassable. And on another day, perhaps, they might have walked it.

Orient conceded just three shots on target across four matches. Two goals conceded – from the kind of finishes you applaud through gritted teeth. They saw not one, but two clear DOGSOs (Denial of Obvious Goal-Scoring Opportunities) waved away with a shrug. In the end, though, football – like life – cares little for stats or sentiment. And as Sam Elliott drawled in The Big Lebowski: “Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you.”

The day began brightly. Valley Green, bottom of the Saturday League with one point, offered Orient a chance to find their rhythm. They took it. Calm, precise, purposeful. Woods and Paul Weston ran midfield like chess masters, and Okocha – strong, sharp, and sure – gorged himself on chances, completing a hat-trick with signature ease. Then came a moment of unexpected poetry: Weston Sr.’s arcing throw found Pillay in the centre, who ghosted between defenders and thundered an unstoppable strike into the top corner. Final score: Valley Green 0 v 4 Leyton Orient (Okocha 3, Pillay).

Romford next. Old frenemies, familiar faces, including ex-Orient man Paul Brown. Second in Division One on goal difference. Battle-hardened – the team to beat. For ten minutes, the match unfolded in slow tension – sparring, probing, both sides measuring each other with respect and restraint. Romford had the possession – just. Orient edged it in chances: Pillay threaded through balls at will; Okocha rattled the post. Then, a moment of magic – and misfortune. Weston parried towards the corner, only for the Romford winger to collect and lash in a shot from an impossible angle. The bar is probably still reverberating. Weston was rooted. Even the goal scorer was in shock. “Remind me of this in ten years’ time,” he said, with a cheeky grin conceding that he would likely be drinking out on it for the next decade. Moments later, Okocha was sent clean through by Weston. One foul. Then another. Still upright, still battling – until a final clattering challenge left him skewing wide. A nailed-on DOGSO, surely? Not in the eyes of the referee, who pointed to the six-yard box: goal kick. Final score: Romford 1 v 0 Leyton Orient.

The sting of that injustice seemed to dull Orient’s edge against Stones Athletic, who had just been dismantled 5-0 by Concord Rangers Blue. Perhaps it was complacency, perhaps the disappointment – either way, Orient were sloppy. Passes misplaced. Movement lethargic. But when Woods clipped a sublime first-time ball through the lines, Okocha did what Okocha does. He danced, delayed, and dispatched.
Weston was called into rare action to tip a rare threat around the post, but Orient were never fully free from their hangover until Pillay, receiving from Weston Sr., spun into space and set Okocha free again. Clinical. Final score: Stones Athletic 0 v 2 Leyton Orient (Okocha 2).

Romford’s earlier qualification rendered the final game – against Concord Rangers Blue – a dead rubber. But this was no formality. The two sides will meet again in September with promotion at stake. And Orient treated it as a dress rehearsal. They were sharp, organised, tactically mature. Concord, prolific in their last match, were suffocated. Okocha turned smartly to give Orient a deserved lead. But unnecessarily pressing for a second – with the result effectively meaningless – the Reds overcommitted. Concord broke. A striker, hemmed in near the touchline and with little apparent danger, turned and lashed a drive off the post and in. Weston unmoved, beaten by brilliance even if it hit like a cheap whisky chaser. One shot, one goal. Orient rallied. Okocha danced towards the area – three fouls, a Concord player in the box – two claims for a penalty. None given. Then a second blow of injustice when Conlan limped off with a knee injury. Football can be cruel. Final score: Concord Rangers Blue 1 v 1 Leyton Orient (Okocha).

Captain Nad Pillay, philosophical in the aftermath, struck a tone of quiet pride: “To go out giving up just three shots on target over four games and seeing two obvious DOGSOs waved away, is tough. But both goals against us were outstanding finishes. Conlan was rock solid – let’s hope the knee is nothing serious. Woods, Paul Weston, Howard – they controlled the games for long spells. And Okocha, who’ll feel the rub of the green deserted him, never stopped believing. Sometimes it goes for you. Today it didn’t. The woodwork served up a double measure of misfortune. Today, the bar – and the post – ate us.”

Leyton Orient squad: Tony Weston (Gk), Nad Pillay (Cpt), Tim Conlan, Paul Weston, John Woods, Mick Howard, Andrew Okocha.

Goalscorers: Okocha 6, Pillay

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Image used © 2025 Trevor Ridley